Philippians 2:14-2:16
Complaining kills joy. It makes you unhappy. It makes everyone around you unhappy too. How many of you like to be around complainers?
The problem is – that once we start to complain – it is hard to stop. Complaining can become a habit – and to tell you the truth – it is a bad habit. We can find something to complain about all the time. If it is raining – of course we can complain about that. But we could also rejoice that the ground is being refreshed and watered. If it is sunny we could complain about that saying, “Oh no – I will probably get sun-burned.”
We are somewhat conditioned by our society to complain. Look at the headlines in your newspapers and on television. I would say that most of what you see is bad news. We are bombarded continuously with what’s wrong with everything. By our own nature and by our conditioning we tend to develop the habit of complaining. But that is not how the Bible tells us to respond in a negative world. Look at Philippians chapter two with me:
“Do all things without complaining and disputing, that you may become blameless and harmless, children of God without fault in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world, holding fast the word of life, so that I may rejoice in the day of Christ that I have not run in vain or labored in vain.” Philippians 2:14-16 (NKJV)
The Bible tells us that Christians are to be different than the rest of the world. I like the way the Message Bible states these verses:
“Do everything readily and cheerfully—no bickering, no second-guessing allowed! Go out into the world uncorrupted, a breath of fresh air in this squalid and polluted society. Provide people with a glimpse of good living and of the living God. Carry the light-giving Message into the night so I’ll have good cause to be proud of you on the day that Christ returns. You’ll be living proof that I didn’t go to all this work for nothing.” Philippians 2:14-16 (MSG)
HOW TO CONQUER COMPLAINING
The Bible says "Do everything without complaining and arguing." How do you do that?
1. Admit There Is A PROBLEM
If you are a constant complainer – you have a problem. For one thing it is not how God wants you to approach the world. He wants you to - “Do all things without complaining and disputing.”
Proverbs chapter twenty-eight says:
“People who conceal their sins will not prosper, but if they confess and turn from them, they will receive mercy.” Proverbs 28:13 (NLT)
One of the most difficult parts of correcting a problem – is to admit that you have one. Take some time this week and listen to yourself. Ask yourself: How much time do I spend griping, complaining, arguing and saying – life is rotten. If you spend a major amount of your time verbalizing the negative – you have a problem. Admit it.
In the verse we just read from Proverbs twenty-eight it gives us two steps on the way to correct the problem. Go ahead and circle the words “confess” and “turn”. We need to confess when we are doing wrong and we also need to stop doing it. I know this is easier said than done – but the first step to solving a problem is to admit that you have one.
2. Change your SELF-TALK
I think that people talk to themselves most of the time. I know that I do. I don’t mean this in a negative way – but when I am trying to think things through – I use language. How else can I think? I do not think without the use of language. That is self-talk. What you are thinking in your mind – what you are saying to your self – what you are meditating on – that is your self-talk. Be very careful of your self-talk. We can easily slip into negative self-talk.
3. Speak POSITIVELY
Not only should you think positive thoughts – you should also speak positive words. Lift people up – don’t tear them down.
Complaining is a habit – it’s a bad habit. Habits are only broken by replacing them with something else. Take out the complaining and replace it with positive speaking. The Bible tells us in Ephesians:
“No foul language is to come from your mouth, but only what is good for building up someone in need, so that it gives grace to those who hear.” Ephesians 4:29 (HCSB)
The Bible says we’re going to give an account of every careless word that we speak. Follow along with me as I read from Matthew chapter twelve:
“I tell you that on the day of judgment people will have to account for every careless word they speak.” Matthew 12:36 (HCSB)
I personally believe that we will have to give account for every word we have spoken whether it was a careless word or not - whether it was intentional or non-intentional.
Paul is saying – don’t let any junk come out of your mouths but only that which helps people with their needs – that benefits them. We have all heard – “If you can’t say something good, don’t say anything at all.” Even though it is not a Biblical saying – it is a wise saying to live by. Replace your criticisms and complaints with compliments. Be positive in your speaking.
4. Take Responsibility For Your Own LIFE
Many times complaining is just an attempt to blame other people for the problem. If I have brought the problem on myself – I need to take responsibility for it. I don’t need to complain or blame others for the problems that I got myself into. I’m the cause of it – I need to take responsibility for it. This practice goes back a long way. Do you remember the fall of Adam and Eve? After Adam ate the fruit – do you remember what he did? He blamed Eve for giving him the fruit. Then he blamed God for creating the woman. It is easy to blame others for our own mistakes. In Proverbs nineteen the Message Bible says:
“People ruin their lives by their own stupidity, so why does God always get blamed?” Proverbs 19:3 (MSG)
Adam blamed God for the mistake he made – we blame God for our mistakes sometimes too. All of our actions have consequences. If I drop the ball do I need to complain when it bounces back? You know the Bible says: “Whatever a man sows he will also reap.” Galatians 6:7b (HCSB)
When I bring problems into my life, I have no legitimate right to complain about it. You are free to do whatever you want in your life – sometimes we make wise choices – sometimes we make stupid choices – but whatever the choices we make – we need to take responsibility for them. The consequences will follow.
Accept responsibility for your own life and the choices that you make. The changes that are going to take place are because of the decisions you choose.
There are three kinds of people in life: accusers, excusers, and choosers.
Accusers are always going around saying "It’s your fault." When Adam sinned he blamed his wife and then blamed God. He was an accuser.
Excusers say "I’m a product of my environment. It’s not really my fault."
The people that are really successful in life are neither accusers nor excusers – they are choosers. They accept responsibility for their own decisions. When they reap what they sow they accept it and move ahead.
Point five:
5. Develop An Attitude Of GRATITUDE
The Bible tells us in First Thessalonians:
I
“In everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” 1 Thessalonians 5:18 (NKJV)
Go ahead and circle the word “everything”.
God says "I want you to be thankful in everything – in all situations and in all circumstances – give thanks." Notice that the verse does not say "FOR” every situation or circumstance. You cannot always be thankful for your circumstances – but you can be thankful in the situation.
I know that God is working all things for my good. That is what Romans chapter eight tells me. Follow along as I read verse twenty eight:
“And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.” Romans 8:28 (NKJV)
God is big enough to take even the bad stuff in my life and work it for my good. God has a purpose for you and me – and He fits even the bad things in our lives into that purpose for our good. God’s purpose for my life is greater than my problems – so in everything I can give thanks.
I should develop the attitude of gratitude because I know that God is in control. He is more powerful than any problem – He is more faithful than any failure I can experience – He is truer than any trouble I can find myself in. My God is bigger than any problem. He is stronger than any situation. He is constantly working for my good in every circumstance that I will ever find myself in. This fact a tremendous antidote for complaining. Whenever we are complaining – we are usually getting our eyes off the powerfulness of our God and focusing on our problems. You can focus on either the negative or the positive – that choice is yours. Is the cup half empty or half full? It all depends on how you look at it.
Of course there are things in your life that are not perfect – they are not supposed to be. You are not living in Heaven yet. You are still on earth where things still break and fall apart. Things get dirty – they wear out – they get holes in them – they get stained – they get ruined and you have to deal with it. But God is more concerned with your holiness than He is with your happiness. He is more concerned with you character than He is with your comfort. “In everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” God is in the process of changing your life. He wants you to be more like Jesus – develop an attitude of gratitude – for that is God’s will for your life.
Point six:
6. Look For God In Every SITUATION
If you are a Christian – God is always active in your life. He is there in each and every situation. You may not be aware of it – but He is there. The Bible says:
“I am sure of this, that He who started a good work in you will carry it on to completion.” Philippians 1:6 (HCSB)
If you want to get victory over complaining, look for God’s hand in all of your situations and circumstances. If you are going through some rough times – be aware – God is there. Second Corinthians chapter four says:
“For our present troubles are small and won’t last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever!” 2 Corinthians 4:17 (NLT)
Look for God in every situation. Paul is saying that problems will come into our lives – there is no doubt in this fact – but be aware – God is there – and He cares how you handle them. Your problem – no matter how big it seems – is temporary. It’s small – in light of how long you’re going to live in eternity. So look for God’s hand in the circumstances. Positive people realize that God is in control. God is fitting everything into a pattern and His purpose is greater than your problem.
The reason why over and over in the Bible we are told not to complain is this – complaining leaves God out of the situation. When I complain about my circumstances I’m really saying: "God isn’t big enough to take care of me." If you are a constant complainer – you need to take a good long look at your faith in God. He will never leave you. He will always take care of you.
What are the positive results of non-complaining life?
Let’s look at our focal verse again:
“Do all things without complaining and disputing, that you may become blameless and harmless, children of God without fault in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world, holding fast the word of life, so that I may rejoice in the day of Christ that I have not run in vain or labored in vain.” Philippians 2:14-16 (NKJV)
Do you remember how the Message Bible said it? Let’s read that again too:
“Do everything readily and cheerfully—no bickering, no second-guessing allowed! Go out into the world uncorrupted, a breath of fresh air in this squalid and polluted society. Provide people with a glimpse of good living and of the living God. Carry the light-giving Message into the night so I’ll have good cause to be proud of you on the day that Christ returns. You’ll be living proof that I didn’t go to all this work for nothing.” Philippians 2:14-16 (MSG)
This means that when you don’t complain – you are changing the atmosphere of the world you live in. You are “a breath of fresh air.” You are different than most people. You carry a message of hope – you carry the “Good News” in a world that is filled with bad news. You carry a message of light in a dark world. Jesus said it this way:
“You are the light of the world. A city that is set on a hill cannot be hidden.” Matthew 5:14 (NKJV)
Our culture needs some good news. It needs someone to bring them a message of hope.
You can help change the world. Check your attitude. Be positive in a negative world.
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